If you don’t know, I’m not telling.

I’ve been on both the selling and buying end of Web services for over 10 years. Over that time I’ve drawn some conclusions about how people sell their services, and from my survey of the landscape, there are a LOT of “used car salesman” in the Web business.

I’m picking on the used car salesman not just because it immediately provokes high blood pressure and the taste of vomit in the back of your mouth, but also because there are several good parallels between their processes – plus – the car industry is a nice backdrop for talking about things that are broken and obnoxious.

People often shop for Web services the same way they shop for cars – they go to where the product is – in this case, the Internet. There is where you’ll find all sorts of pretty and shiny things to catch your eye. The show room sparkles and you’re greeted with a smile and firm handshake.

But wait! Not all showrooms are fronts for crummy Web jerks – just like not all showrooms at car dealerships are fronts for crummy car salesmen.

Side note – funny how you can’t always tell what kind of interaction you’re going to get by the showroom floor huh?

OK, so how do you avoid the used car salesman of the Web? I’m so glad you asked! Here are a few tell-tale-signs that will help you spot one coming.

Avoid those who farm out the labor

If you’re approached by a Web slinger who brags about how many sites he can turn around because he farms all the labor out to India, run like the wind! You’re dealing a used car salesman – who gets paid on volume. He doesn’t care much about your experience as a customer NOR the experience of your customers. He’s found cheep labor that can turn around comps and code on the other side of the globe while he is sleeping. There is a good chance he knows little about solid extensible, semantic, standards based design and very little about development best practices.

Avoid those who talk non-stop about social networks and Web 2.0

If you’re working with a Web shop that constantly pushes you towards adopting the latest social networking fad – beware – you might be working with a used car salesman. There are a lot of Web monkeys out there that know how to talk the sex out of technology. They are up on all the latest trends and insist that those who are not early adopters will go the way of the dinosaurs. Do you really need inferred sensors and a heads up display to tell you there is a deer in the middle of the road? Maybe you don’t need the headache of managing 43 different social networks either? Those who insist you jump on whatever is next, probably isn’t paying attention to what you truly need to make your Web strategy successful.

Avoid those who up-sell up-sell up-sell

Quite often the one who is up-selling you all the time is the same guy who is preaching about the latest social networking trends, but this guy is more about the features and size than about the trends. This used car salesman wants you to buy the extended Hummer with the hot-tub in the back, sitting on 40″ doves. Did you show up at the showroom looking for something that will kill your budget and cost a fortune to maintain? This guy isn’t interested in giving you what you asked for, he is looking to get his cut out of the biggest pie he can sell you.

How do you know when you’ve found the right provider?

Step 1

Look for someone who is willing to get to know you and your business. Someone who takes the time to understand your goals. Someone who listens to your needs.

Step 2

Look for someone who is interested in understanding your customers. Someone who has done some homework in effort to understand your industry and what your clients expect from your industry.

Step 3

Look for someone who can bring experience and value to Step 1 and 2.

Used car salesmen have the reputation they have because they have earned it as a whole, and I think it might be wise to approach Web providers with the same caution we approach car salesmen. When we find an honest, good listening, experienced and knowledgeable salesman we become repeat customers and even tell our friends who they should trust to buy their next car from.

As a consumer and provider, I urge you to step back, know your goals and look for someone who is willing to partner with you in reaching them.