I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook (FB). On one hand, it’s a great way to connect with people and on the other, it’s a great way to annoy and be annoyed. It’s a communication device that’s still in its infancy phase when it comes to establishing social norms., so we’re all in this experiment together.
From what I gather, FB parallels the type of person behind the account – generalizing of course. For example:
Social Spotlight
This user has 300-500 friends on FB. They request a FB connection with everyone they meet.
Introvert OK
The hardcore introverts are barely breaking 50 friends (assuming they are even online), and that’s only because they have family as friends.
Can’t Help Myself
Then of course there are the people that just can’t say no – no to anything or anyone. They end up with far more associations on FB than they ever care to keep up with, but because someone requested the connection, and they couldn’t refuse, they have a FB tumor growing. I suspect that this person dreads getting online.
Pragmatic Please
The pragmatic user is one of my favorite. They are the user who ignores every friend connection that doesn’t personally impact their life. They probably don’t have a lot of friends on their list, but the ones they do have are close and well connected.
Absentee Friend
We all know, and probably are friends with, the user who only has an account because their child or spouse told them they had to have one. They never update ANYTHING. Yawn.
Users we avoid
The needy
Easy to spot with their 1000+ friends. Do they really care to keep in touch with the daily happenings of 1000+ acquaintances? No, probably not. My guess is that this is the type of person that defines themselves by who they know and who knows them – I call them the “Look at me” crowd. When you have that many “friends” non of them feel important – we’re just cattle in your make-believe fan club. Mooooo… I mean boo…
There is an exception for the poor user who works in the spotlight though – they have a million friends because, well, they have to. But just like the rest of their life, the social scene looks a LOT different than the masses.
MMD
Masters in Marketing Douchery – this is the person use uses their personal account to promote whatever they are doing that makes them money or gives them fame. Yeah, you know the person, and if your offended by this it’s probably because you’re that guy. If you want to promote your business, make a group and commit to communicating only to those who, through their own will, subscribed to that group – or just continue to annoy us all with your MMD – we’ll talk about you behind your back though. Promise.
The Preacher
I’m not necessarily talking about the profession as so much as the user who uses FB as a soapbox. The ONLY thing they post is about saving the ozone, ending the war, saving your soul from damnation – or whatever their particular bent is. This is the guy we all avoid when he walks up to the water-cooler. *cough* Sorry, I gotta get back to that TPS report.
Estranged Relative
Are we even related? I haven’t spoken to you in 15 years and now we’re friends on FB? Why? Why? Why? (fading into the distance…)
The Pouncer
This is the guy who, every time you log in to FB he is there – ready and waiting – to pounce! He starts chatting with you the second you log in, he comments on EVERY post any of his friends EVER make and he fills your inbox, well, crap. The last word – is always – HIS!
Which one are you? Which ones did I miss? Do tell!
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